What's the only appliance that beeps when you're asleep but goes silent when you're awake?

The microwave has a sixth sense for drama.

Heat up leftovers at 2 a.m. because someone's hungry? Three sharp beeps that wake the baby, the dog, and possibly the neighbors.

Reheat coffee at 7 a.m. while you're standing right there? Dead silence. You find it four hours later, room temperature, mocking you.

Punchline

It's not broken. It just runs on spite and bad timing.