My daughter asked why I always put the birthday candles in the cake but never actually bring matches to the table

She noticed I stick those little candles in with surgical precision—perfect spacing, rainbow order, the whole nine yards. Then we all stand around the cake like it's a museum exhibit because nobody thought to grab the lighter.

Punchline

I told her it's called deferred ignition. The candles are on the cake. Lighting them is a whole separate project, and frankly, we've already peaked as a family just getting this far.