My teacher asked why I always bring a fork to school on soup day

My teacher asked why I always bring a fork to school on soup day.

I told her it's because my mom says institutional soup is more like "vegetable-flavored regret" and I might need to stab my way out.

Punchline

Also, last time I trusted the cafeteria spoon, it dissolved halfway through lunch. So now I bring my own cutlery like a tiny, jaded adult.