Why do car keys always hide in the diaper bag but never in the key bowl by the door?

I bought that ceramic bowl specifically for keys. It sits by the front door like a tiny monument to good intentions.

But every single morning? The keys are nested somewhere between a half-empty pouch of Goldfish, a receipt from 2019, and a pacifier we haven't used in three years.

Punchline

The bowl holds spare buttons and a grocery list. The diaper bag holds my entire life — and the only exit strategy.