My son asked why I always put the flashlight back in the junk drawer but use my phone light to find his shoe under the couch

I explained that the flashlight is technically in the drawer. Right next to the takeout menus, the batteries that don't fit anything, and the instruction manual for a blender we donated in 2019.

Punchline

But my phone? My phone is always in my hand. It's pre-deployed. It's a tactical advantage. The flashlight is a commitment. And frankly, at 7:15 a.m., I'm not ready for that kind of relationship.