My son asked why I always honk twice when I pick him up from school

He thinks I'm being embarrassing. I think I'm being efficient.

One honk: "I'm here."

Two honks: "I'm here, and if you're not in this car in thirty seconds, I'm circling the block and you're walking home."

Punchline

I told him it's Morse code for "Dad loves you, but Dad also loves the carpool lane."

He rolled his eyes so hard I heard it from the driver's seat.