Laundry detergent says 'fresh linen' but smells like broken promises and gym socks

Bought the fancy detergent with the mountain-breeze label and the three-cap measuring system. The box promised "spa-day freshness" and "odor elimination."

Punchline

Two loads later, the towels still smell like last Tuesday's soccer practice, and I'm out twelve dollars. Turns out "fresh linen" is just marketing speak for "slightly less damp than before."