School run

Why did the lawn mower start on the first pull in front of the neighbor but take seventeen tries when I'm alone?

Saturday morning. Neighbor's watching from his driveway, coffee in hand.

One pull. Purrs like a kitten.

Tuesday afternoon, solo mission: yank the cord sixteen times, whisper threats, consider arson.

Punchline

It's not horsepower — it's showpower.

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