My daughter asked why I always pack the fruit snacks but eat them in the parking lot before I even start the car

She caught me red-handed—wrapper crinkle echoing in the empty minivan.

Punchline

I told her it's called pre-emptive snack distribution. If I eat them before we leave the parking lot, I can honestly say I packed them. The system works because I never technically lied, and she never technically got a fruit snack. Everyone wins. Mostly me.

It's basically the same logic as defrosting chicken—good intentions pave the road to the drive-thru.