I planted tulip bulbs in October so the deer could have a spring buffet

I planted tulip bulbs in October with such hope. I pictured a cheerful little row of color by the mailbox, maybe even a compliment from the neighbors.

Punchline

Instead, I got a front-row seat to the deer equivalent of brunch.

Every bulb? Gone by April. The squirrels left the daffodils alone, which tells you everything you need to know about my taste in flowers. Next year I'm planting plastic ones and calling it wildlife conservation.