My daughter asked why I always put the salad dressing on the table but toss the salad with my hands in the kitchen

I told her it's called strategic plating.

The bottle goes on the table because that's where civilized people keep condiments. But the actual tossing? That happens in the kitchen, where I can use my hands like a proper salad surgeon and no one has to witness the chaos.

Punchline

Besides, if she saw me mixing greens with my bare hands, she'd never eat vegetables again. The dressing bottle is just misdirection—like a magician's assistant, but for ranch.